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Showing posts from June, 2005

Similies& Thoughts

Like the rays of sunlight that creep into ur room when all u want is darkness, these strange thoughts run arnd

Like random particles in Brownian Motion, i bump into the strangest collection of people who mite or mite nt matter

Like salt on a bitter wound, that stings and helps heal, ur distance away from me help soothe alleviations of fear and hope

Like tangled hair after a late evening car ride, i cling onto the hanging threads that threaten to weave themselves into a cloth like dream

That threatens to cover the cilli like synoptic pragmatic threads that line the inside of my brain, forming a sheet of phelgm called fantasy

Best of you~ Foo Fighters

I’ve got another confession to make I’m your fool Everyone’s got their chains to break Holdin’ you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Are you gone and onto someone new? I needed somewhere to hang my head Without your noose You gave me something that I didn’t have But had no use I was too weak to give in Too strong to lose My heart is under arrest again But I break loose My head is giving me life or death But I can’t choose I swear I’ll never give inI refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Has someone taken your faith? Its real, the pain you feel You trust, you mustConfess Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

In and Out

Well hot malaysian afternoon after, things are crumbling from the heat, from the pressure. There's not many people around campus still, and the new semester might see many changes. Tsun, u mite be coming back.

Aniket writes this: I am out of town for the next two days. I just wanted to be away from the world. Hope to see you when i get back. Sorry for leaving my phone off yesterday..

We're all on the run away frm those that we knw. WE dun not want to knw them ne more, bt more like, we want time out. We don't want to remember them but for 2 days. I've quit smoking... ha ha smoked one yesterday tho, but i suppose it takes a smoker to knw how profound that is. Or maybe, we're all just bored. Bored with the want to do other things, except there's not much to do. i want to go back home, only because that's always where i want to go, when things get a little bit complicated on this end.

I thought maybe today is a good time to write a tributary for all those who have…

On the day itself

Am 20 now and high on beer baby... i've decided that i love this drink.. he he

thanks to all the people who made it a fun day... u knw who u guys are

more than that, one of the things that got solved today mostly was a) thank u for understanding wt i wanted frm wt we have, i am so glad. To be honest, it's saddening bt welcoming at the same time.
Tsun: thanks for coming back baby. I needed to see a fresh face.
Kenneth: why? Thanks dude, colour brother.. he he

Sigh... spent it in the appt most of the day, realized that the inner things in life have to be clean before the things on the outside can be kept clean... and well, u knw...days aren't special because they're special, they're special when the ppl that u love the most are arnd u..

jane u were missed.

sabitha=2o... mite as well start counting the wrinkles now huh ;)

For the 20th year

A man has a man... a woman as a woman... and in this they belong.

BELONGING... what the fcuk is that?

Lets talk fragmentation.... we are fragmented like thoughts that spring in and arnd and in and arnd.. this is what i am.. i am...

still struggling to find and figure myself
i say to love... 'leave me alone. A little while longer'
I am blocking so many things right now
like u leaving..
like him and his talk..
my own expectations of wt i want in Him...
Ignoring.. blocking.. numbing..

reducing.. and i'm not growing...

it's gonna be 20 time soon...
i knw it's not much of a difference...

big 20 n where do i place myself?
i thought i would have more to say abt myself now..
in this i think that when i was younger still i had more of an idea of where i was goin

my dreams.. getting shot on BBC
ha ha ha
i'm still a kid

still a kid who's tooth is being pulled out without ne intention of it being given away..

i got jealous today
at that soft toy..
i want one too..
from who tho..
and why?

I wan…

Wandering Mind, Lost spirit ;)

time turns arnd and gives my ass a kick.. that is if what i predict is true, and hopefully, ha ha for once i am wrng.

you never knw how much u feel for someone, until ur put in a position where you have to choose between two.

you never knw how to explain to urself the reason behind the choice, because it's nt that u've chosen wrong.

Just that u aren't happy wit what u have, and when it comes to love, that's a scary thought cz it's nt that u dun love

What u have wit u, just that u also love the other, and that returns like the uncanny to be placed at the back to

haunt. It's nt pleasant bt am i fool to think that it will be pleasant? I'm nt. And i will nt allow myself this blow, not again, not ever.

And choosing if for those who have a choice. i don't.
Well, haven't had a decent entry in here the past week... the last one holds strong to the title...
the exams abound.. holler over like dark clouds, bt that's the last thing on my mind as my 'friendster' b'day day finishes strong wit quite a few believing and trust, accusatory messages frm those who knw, and congratulatory messages frm those who don't... and i realize that even imaginary b'days are fun.. mebbe that's what i'll do, have a personal b'day where i can do what i want and have a public one where i entertain those at the outer rim of my social circle... a fancy thought, if only it were plausable...

the past couple of days have been rather traumatic, i would like to believe that there are not many who are happy at this point of time. I slept early last nite, at ten..the first time in a long time and i realized that my body seemed to think that there was something wrong with me because i got up at 2, 7 and well now i'm up.. was up at 9…

Like a straight line needs a ruler...

I see this.... a mass of unknwn faces and a person I knw. i see mc donalds and a culture i am alien to. In a nutshell, a foreinger and a quasi, and in this valley we are stuck. Between to mountains of philosophy and 2 mountains of thought, we are stuck.

We are by right no different from eachother, but how four different and difficult years shaped our minds is a thing yet to wonder. If in life, change is the only thing that is constant then why are our thoughts not changin on par.

There are compromises that people make, judgements that people talk of, bt while we would ideally wash it all off, we cannot baby, and we can't think that we can either.

We don't think because we cannot think. We cannot be because we are not allowed to be. We cannot change the rules because they make the world go round and round.

But is that really true, because i dun knw about u bt for me, i dunno how bad i want this really.
I dunno but i dunno if this is what is supposed to happen.
I dun think that i can …



They said he was special, everyone he knew. He survived. But he didn’t feel it, not while sitting in this freezing cold room, waiting for the cop who brought him in to verify his details wondering at the fate of his friend.No, he decided, he did feel different.I felt it earlier.

Just before he got caught. It was a short burst of uniqueness that he had cherished for one moment before it stopped when he’d started speeding up. For a short minute, a short short minute he’d felt the world around him move about him faster. His car had started vibrating, and for a minute, a short short minute, the world outside the windows grew streaked. It became a series of streaks, streaks of various colours, highlighted by the setting sun. Like cloth that was stared at for too long, so you could see the individual threads that made up colour. The city that he had grown up in had changed into a pastiche.

As the white car ripped along the empty highway, a police station nearby was notif…