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Showing posts from March, 2006


Went for my first play yesterday.. absurd theatre's always been life threatening to me. And well, that's all i want to say about the play.. unles i ought to mention that the director looks very young. But apart from that, the night was good after being lost in the Kl's maze-roads.. we got there just in time to be warned by the steward of the night.. telling us that the play's gonna start soon and we ought to run for it..

craned in the back row to see the actors on stage.. i just kept staring at the lights.. there are so many of them and they'd have to work so diligently to know which room is lit when.. but then again, that's probably what rehearsals are for.

Dinner then followed at eleven, at Murni in SS2.. such a girly nite.. lemme repeat girly girly nite.. and for once it didn't mean Ladies Night in some club. Looking forward to more plays.. just need the company.. I have one, and then i have another.. and then one more.. if i alternate them carefully hopef…

Limbo land with a buch of Clowns

It's been an interesting bunch of weeks.

Highlights would include Ethnic Jazz (and yes i coined this myself as to my knowlege NO ONE HAS COINED BEFORE). The Gambus, an instrument that I've never encountered.. or rather the name I've never encountered, but the twangs or rather the timbre of the instrument strikes a very sensual chord.. consquently I describe the concert that I went to as highly sensual and very sexy. As I commented to those who were there, I'd love to take the percussionist and lock him up in my wadrobe. Feed him biscuits slid under the door, and never let him out. A cd with the gambus playing, and the drummer in the wadrobe and I have my arabic-mexico right in my room.

A-part from that, it's been a sodding couple of weeks as everyone in class with me undergoes a reconstruction class on the essence of sexuality. And the essence of those very sexual beings who call themselves lesbians, queers, gays, transexuals, intersexed or bizexual.. I am not that …

On a day like this...

Sweat sweat sweat.. all that's there anymore, sweating till the sun goes down and sweating when it comes up.. and we chose to sweat even after.. sweating.. wipe wipe wipe.. swabbing tears and absorbing blood.. afterall who said the night was clean.. binarisms.. good and bad, the day and the night..

spendin the night in someone else's bed.. :)


U know know in ur heart that they're nice, but everything and everyone tells u otherwise. And sometimes, just those rare moments, i think thoughts that are unkind, that suggest that maybe everyone else is right.

And it's wrong, because no one needs or deserves to be judged.

They might judge you but u may not judge them, because to become someone you dislike is to become some what lesser than what you yourself could be.

And that is what i do not want to do, so I apologize, i don't judge,

You may claim i'm being taken advantage off..

I may be

But to be lesser than what i can be, to loose respect for myself is worse for me..

than to be held by the neck by the hands of the cruel capitalistic exploiters

All at once, I am selfish, eager to be fed,
to suckle my own nipples, because all at once i am self made

I am mine alone, and I am I. And for that to be stolen, is greater a crime than any other
that i can think of.

Holler Over

One of those things that are always gonna put a smile of my face is getting a mail from long lost friends.. or the ones who are not so lost just lazy.. but i'm not blaming them.. it seems to take me close to forever before i hit the reply button, and even longer to get the compose button.. thing.. button? *tripping*

And Andrea just sounded real excited sitting opposite me, "NETWORK'S BACK!"... see how important communication is.. one day of no Digi, and i freaked.. . i couldn't reach Bhav or Nik.. relying on Aaron's eye sight to find them, collectively collaborating to find the people we hold so close to us. Like i knew my mothers call would be the first to get my phone..and Jane calling me to tell me that my mother was trying to get to me.. how did Jane get to me, I wonder..

And what is it about mothers where they seem to pick the day the network stops (really, how rare does that happen) to get worried. I imagine my mother to be a little brown bee, buzzing aro…


What is on my mind right now? I came up with the my definition of feminism in class today, and its on my mind.. as a friend referred to it as cunt studies.. and i got pissed off...-

* the ability for a man or a woman to do what they will without having gender restrictions or biases imposed on them.

So i wonder, where did all the bra burning fit in? Would i burn my own bra? I do not think that would serve me well, not atleast unless we're all allowed to run around bra less. In which case i'd be more than happy to burn mine along with the rest of the women around doing so.

where did male bashing come in? I like men. I think all women like men, and i guess some men like men too. We just don't like those men that think that it's ok to stroke a girls ass cz she's wearing a cute little skirt in a club, a bus stop or even in the temple. But when i say we, i say, us women and us men, men don't like men who do that too. So it's not us women versus them men, it's us…