23 March 2006

Limbo land with a buch of Clowns

It's been an interesting bunch of weeks.

Highlights would include Ethnic Jazz (and yes i coined this myself as to my knowlege NO ONE HAS COINED BEFORE). The Gambus, an instrument that I've never encountered.. or rather the name I've never encountered, but the twangs or rather the timbre of the instrument strikes a very sensual chord.. consquently I describe the concert that I went to as highly sensual and very sexy. As I commented to those who were there, I'd love to take the percussionist and lock him up in my wadrobe. Feed him biscuits slid under the door, and never let him out. A cd with the gambus playing, and the drummer in the wadrobe and I have my arabic-mexico right in my room.

A-part from that, it's been a sodding couple of weeks as everyone in class with me undergoes a reconstruction class on the essence of sexuality. And the essence of those very sexual beings who call themselves lesbians, queers, gays, transexuals, intersexed or bizexual.. I am not that exotic.. I buy into Beauty and the Beast and their heterosexual love ideology. To suggest I am anyother however doesn't bother me, SEXUALITY IS FLUID. But I am comfortable being just a woman, just in love with a man, just wanting to get married and just willing to conform.

As Sharon asked today, how many of us wear lace? ha ha Last week it was, how many of us thought sex was a power struggle. Every week a new hurdle to jump over, everyweek a new box to get into.. challenging the very floor on which we stand, she says. If we could float, we don't need the floor.. but can we float?

A-long with that,let me add that sexuality ought to be rethought but it ought not be the central focus of our lives. What makes it powerful? Why such an obsession with our sexual organs.. it feels good? So does touching velvet, I don't see a school of finger studies sprouting out somewhere. Maybe it's because our organs hold the basis of our existence, the power of procreation. And because this procreative aspect has been chocolate coated in stories of love. But sometimes, I wonder are we reading too much into something. Almost like saying Beauty and the Beast should be banned because it promotes love affairs with animals. ha ha.

How about this little suggestion- why not we just go on as we are. Let the bridges burn as we cross them, let's move forwards. And in moving forwards, let's discard all that we are not comfortable with- if it's sex and sexuality, fine dump it out the window. If its religion, fine, chuck into the bin. Some of us may choose to run across those burning bridges, some of us may choose to walk the way, it doesn't matter. As long as we dare to cross the bridge, and we move forwards, we take the first step into that bridge and keep walking forwards.. as long as we're doing that, and let the bridges of the past burn but not be forgotten, there's no way we could ever be wrong. What's that anyways, right and wrong? Black and white? Bloody hell, as Tsun exclaimed yesterday, it's all bloody gray.

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