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Showing posts from August, 2009

A mad woman's head

At one point in life everything that once made sensee to you will seem like nonsense. The truth is that though life is with infinte possibilities, it follows patterns. Like going to bed with the lights on, to find that when you wake up they've all been switched off. Have you given a thought as to what emotions were felt, when the words were said? Ask yourself why somone who takes care of your needs, receives so little mention in your life Or have you really taken care of them at all? How many times has he told you that he still needed you at all? Or is he waiting for those phone calls to stop? Has he hinted to you slowly more and more that he wanted you out of his life? When will you face up to the truth? And stop seeking confirmation of the fact that your in denial? Do you love anyone at all? Or did you make it up like God, the Devil and everything such? Are there really so many questions that need answers to? When did you change from being the girl that wrote cursive to the one …


I've been reading about the Far East today. Something my brother mentioned in conversation about a certain Unit 731 made me get online and read up. Three hours into Project Far East, and I am in shock.

Vivisection on human beings, sans anasthesia? Crazy experimentation on organ removals, pregnant women impregnated by doctors and then their foetuses subjected to disease carrying bacteria? Open canibalism in the Imperial Japanese Army.. wow. I thought I studied history, I thought the Japs masaccred people, buried them in open graves. What the history books DID NOT document (and I know this, because I loved my history book) was crazy time.

I mean Schindler's List popularised the plight of so many of the victims in Europe. What about the Asians.. read ... (ripped off wikipedia)

"It may be pointless to try to establish which World War Two Axis aggressor, Germany or Japan, was the more brutal to the peoples it victimised. The Germans killed six million Jews and 20 million Russians…

Mr Fidel

It's been a long, hard and difficult week. I think I've learnt so much this week, it's felt like a month. My little love, Fidel was taken to the vet on Monday because he'd eaten stones and they were making him sick. I took time off work to see, amongst other things, his blood for the first time, when thet game him IV.

On Wednesday, he shat something that looked like a body part (which turned out to be his stomach lining) covered in blood, and I panicked. I'd spent two hours of Tuesday evening force feeding, cajoling him into eating one scoop of ice cream. I got to the doctors, and I was not alone. Nt the whole night, with everyone that was anyone there, and the doctors decided that Fidel needed to spend the night thtere, for an X Ray, blood tests and other things that would determine whether or not the stones would be flushed out on their own, with help or if it was, the last option- surgery.

Thursday the results came out, and surgery it was. The vet also asked me if…


Four walls all around me.
No doors for me to leave.

They close in to confront,
what I don't believe.

Alone in this darkness,
There's only silence.

And your paw prints on the floor,
You claw marks on my skin.