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Showing posts from February, 2009


I'm sitting here, trying to think of something new to write. Some different, that I haven't talked about before, but honestly, life seems to be going round in circles. For me anyways, or rather, when we think of the different things that one can feel.

There are so many things that I still have to do and want to do, like sky dive & para glide & have a baby & get married, things that I want to experience. But I've realized in the past few days, while the things that we do may be new, we're only going to feel the same old emotions. What can be different about them, would be the intensity or the tenure, but in essence happiness in itself is not novel.

Ofcourse, there may be one of two things that are yet to be experienced. Like the feeling that people get, when they say they have a kid, about how they find it hard to believe that they could ever love someone.something as much as they do their new born baby. Or maybe, the grief that comes with loosing the same chi…

Fall from Grace

A leaden heart that a heavy breath canntot dispense off. A heaving outlet of emotions, hair across your face, tears in your eyes, running along your cheek, tipping at the edge of your jaw, falling into nothingness. A piercing pain at the back of your throat, silent screams, dancing lips. Scrunched up cheeks, a salty taste. Swallowing sadness, into nothingness. Dry lips, a quiet night, darkness all around you, echoing walls. Your heart aches to feel, yet it does everytime. You write words of apology, words of question. Looking for answers to only ever get none. You wonder out loud your pain, and see that no one really cares. You're a sucker for happy endings, and you want to end this happily too, but there is no happiness in this world around you. You will to remember when you laughed out loud, but memory does not serve you for this. What it serves you for is the sad disgrace of a bottomless fall, a fall that sees no end, no bottom. A mountain with no edge to fall off, hard rock gr…


I don't know who all these other sabitha's are or what they do. I wonder if they share my life or if any part of their life mirrors mine.
Through the search descriptions I know one plays tennis and she was 16 in 2007. I know a lot of their namesare spelt without the h's. How can we think of ourselves as being unique, when even our names are shared.
i've been heavy hearted lately. there's so much going on that I haven't addressed. I'm finding it difficult to cope with so much sadness, so many expectations broken. I guess, in many waysi'm just waiting for something good to happen.
In the shadow of happiness, I hope to sort all this negativity. I find this whole jig over whelming, and inside I feel this very strong desire to yell or turn myself inside out. Purgeall my memories, and badnessess. I want to run away, unscathed. I feel trapped, so manylines to follow, this straight road is not for me.
Eagerly looking forward to a breath of fresh fresh air.

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!

I think the line above is so cute! It really really exemplifies what I feel right now. Why are boys stupid? Because they just are. Sometimes I feel that there are soooo many things, they could do right. So many small things that they could do or say that would just make things better, and somehow they can't guess or know the obvious. And it is just so frustrating, so irritating.

And then when you tell them what should have been done i.e. stating the obvious, they roll their eyes and look at you like you're from a different planet all together. Like what you suggested is something they never heard of and is something that only an insane woman would request.

WHY is it so difficult to just know what a girl wants? WHY WHY WHY???

Valentines 'a' Malik!!

So Pramod Muthalik (Sri Ram Sena) threatened that his bunch of hooligans will go around Bangalore and find couples who are in the act of celebrating Valentines Day and get them married by a walking priest with santhoor.

So all the people in this country, who believed in the constitutional right to love and show love (many of whom were women!!!!!! wooohooo!!!!) refused to get into a debate on the man's sutpidity and instead said, that they will send Pink Chaddy's (pink underwear- like Cupid) to the man. Another campaign to consider, is the one where we send Valentines Cards in the thousands to the man (especially since he threatened that his men would go to the shops and stop the sale of the cards).

Happy to report, that both campaigns are going quite well! Who said starvation is the only peaceful way to fight peacefully...(link)

And hence modern India battles the stupidity of self proclaimed 'CULTURE EXPERTS'!!!!!


She grew up in a cirus. The nauseating smell of sweat and animal, the weight of combined excitement from the stands, corrugated matadors and lionsmen, beautiful women and mystical magicians were not new to her. She remembered one such magician, who was able to enter a lion cage, and right in front of the unbelieving crowd of spectators, he threw a giant satin yellow cloth that glowed a pale moon shadowy glow and lo behold! When the cloth came whisking down, it was just the magician and the lion.

There was no cage, and the lion look unperturbed. His name was Conquisto and he did not dress in the attire that most magicians wore, he was not jovial and she found him some what strange. He had a long drawn beard, that followed the folds of his forlorn lips, and as the line of hair dragged his chin longer, at the very tip of the beard, he had sown a few beads into the hairline. His narrow drawn eyes, lined with kohl, never showed life. When you looked into them, there shone no light, and look…


I havent written a proper post here in ages. Valentines day coming up, and we have the Sena raging war on modernity. Lets throw the constituition in the bin while we enjoy our lonely Sena affected lives at home this Saturday.

How can a bunch of hooligans tell us what to do? I won't go into that. But what I can say is, that they can only tell us what to do, when we listen to them. Until we listen to them, we are not their puppets & neither do they hold the string that control us.

I'm not sure why, but lately I see how everything in this world is connected. Everyone is fighting or resisting something, I can't remember the last person that I met who was unaffected. I wonder if this is the effect of education or increased awareness, where everyone has their beliefs and when their beliefs are threatened they feel a need to defend.

Things have been turbulent on this planet lately. A big lesson was learnt the weekend before last- or maybe I should say re-learned- dont drink alch…