23 February 2009

Fall from Grace

A leaden heart that a heavy breath canntot dispense off. A heaving outlet of emotions, hair across your face, tears in your eyes, running along your cheek, tipping at the edge of your jaw, falling into nothingness.

A piercing pain at the back of your throat, silent screams, dancing lips. Scrunched up cheeks, a salty taste. Swallowing sadness, into nothingness. Dry lips, a quiet night, darkness all around you, echoing walls.

Your heart aches to feel, yet it does everytime. You write words of apology, words of question. Looking for answers to only ever get none. You wonder out loud your pain, and see that no one really cares.

You're a sucker for happy endings, and you want to end this happily too, but there is no happiness in this world around you. You will to remember when you laughed out loud, but memory does not serve you for this.

What it serves you for is the sad disgrace of a bottomless fall, a fall that sees no end, no bottom. A mountain with no edge to fall off, hard rock grief. It strikes you that you have taken so much, and yet you continue to breath.

Yet every day, as surely as traffic lines up outside traffic signals, you feel a piece of that essence slipping away. Suspiciously, you wonder, if maybe it's the layers of illusion lined up in your head that is slowly but surely eroding astray.

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