27 February 2015

Rule Uno- Bridezilla Diaries

I think a wedding translates on so many levels, a very complicated, ancient coming of age 'thing'... I call it a thing, because when I have the flu, my general sense of eloquence takes a deep dive into the river of nonsense.

From the dates the wedding was decided, it took only a total of 2.5 months for my bestie to call me bridezilla. Cowering in embarassment, it's taken me a month to forgive her (I apologized a week later, but I forgave her a month later). And longer still to analyze the depths of emotion, one's general sense of sanity dives, post the simple decision of marriage is confirmed.

Firstly, it dawns slowly, every day, that YOU.. as in you, are getting married. This essentially means, that YOU will no longer be the late visitor/guest at the wedding, but the person that is getting married. This means that, you CANNOT decide what you're going to where before you take a shower  on the evening of the wedding.

This also means that YOU cannot plan with friends on when to get there, and how to get there. YOU cannot leave early, and YOU cannot get there too late. And mostly, YOU have to pray and pray that your friends love you enough to come to the wedding, and apologize mentally to all the people whose wedding you did not attend.

The second transition is the mistaken belief that since it's your wedding, it's about you. The sooner this transition truly sinks in, the easier and less bridezilla one will feel. Imagine, in your head, you're friends being thrilled and wanting to do everything with you but also at the same time sensing when you need to be left alone, and disappearing. Imagine, and keep doing so, because that will never be reality.

Weddings aren't like Christmas, there aren't any wedding miracles waiting to happen. Nor will the besties, like cotton swabs dabbed in Dettol, strike and kill the germs of pent up frustration and overall panic.

Rule numero uno to remember, to ensure you do not become bridezilla is to understand that nothing has changed for anyone except for yourself, your partner and your respective families. Everyone else's life is and will be the same as it always was, which means that just because you're getting married, it does not mean, that you can expect more from other people... because they will not deliver.

This is no different to the day when one of your friends was getting married, had a mental breakdown and you had absolutely no idea why they were fussing over nothing.

How am I dealing with it? By leaning on my partner when I can't stand, and when I can, by actively involving myself in all the decisions that need to be made. So what if someone else may not like something that you've picked... nothing's changed for them, everything has changed and will continue to change for you... 

06 February 2015


This post is for my one reader! 

Who reminded me that my 11 year old blog,  sat abandoned in the midst of a rapidly growing online universe. 

And shocked that I've clocked just one real post for a whole year,  trying to think through a number of thoughts,  one quick one to pen down,  I've realized I've been through a corporate restructure,  a promotion and a few life changes which has completely left me thoughtless. 

Going back to the posts from a decade ago,  I know that it's because,  unsurprisingly,  I've ended up being a corporate drone.

Version 6.7 of the factory worker featured in Orwell's 1984,  except in 2015.  Which means,  big brother doesn't need to monitor me as much as I monitor myself.  For the sake of productivity. 

Ensuring the minimal 8 hours of sleep,  so that the best of me sells out at a decent but comparably lower than everyone else's,   salary. 

The shame.  But marching on tonight,  I've managed a decent post.  Or so I think.  So yay,  enjoy the nonsense,  one reader :)