16 June 2005

Well, haven't had a decent entry in here the past week... the last one holds strong to the title...
the exams abound.. holler over like dark clouds, bt that's the last thing on my mind as my 'friendster' b'day day finishes strong wit quite a few believing and trust, accusatory messages frm those who knw, and congratulatory messages frm those who don't... and i realize that even imaginary b'days are fun.. mebbe that's what i'll do, have a personal b'day where i can do what i want and have a public one where i entertain those at the outer rim of my social circle... a fancy thought, if only it were plausable...

the past couple of days have been rather traumatic, i would like to believe that there are not many who are happy at this point of time. I slept early last nite, at ten..the first time in a long time and i realized that my body seemed to think that there was something wrong with me because i got up at 2, 7 and well now i'm up.. was up at 9.. because it wasn't used to it.. the sadness of the situation as it were was the fact that i could hear my roomate sniffling in the background... sometime last nite i woke up and heard her crying to her bf.. i dunno what happened, i dun think i want to know what happened... bt i am concerned.. seen her cry three times this week alone, and i am powerless to do anything for her.. the last time that i thought i got one thing settled, bt another one started, with another housemate... and yesterday i was confronted with her crying to me in the kitchen

at my wits end at all that has been happening the last couple of days i found myself unsympathetic to her crying, mumbling out what ever i've been telling my roomate to her monotonously, and she said thank you and seemed to think i was an angel.. i just continued chopping my garlic, made my fried rice, ate and went to bed...

got into bed.. another housemate came in proclaiming to hate the appt... i nodded to myself..sleeping soon... to be awakened by sniffling... eventually got up.. went into DD's room at eight.. an hour ago.. to use the net for a bit... to have her wake up a couple of mins later breathing hard... and i realized how unprepared i was to handling someone with an asthma attack..so i continued typing into the comp while she handled her breathing with a bravery that would have been lacking in me and made me cry... cz i knw that's what i am when it comes to my health... i cry...like i did and have dramatic nick names like.. the hark calls that which is to go to heavan soon... and delay my doc visit to live in paranoia...

and now i shall study... had my morning coffee. my ciggie. and time to study.
before my exam... which is abt three hours away.
wish me luck.
who ever it is.
because my muscles are taut and unwilling to care at this point in time.
i am nt even stressed out.


dD.Diyana said...

u refer other housemates and roomate simply as "roomate".

but u put this particular housemate as "dD".

obviously u have advertised me.


i'm ok now , for now at least.
i got some stuff to tell.
i'll wait when u come home.

p/s: i hate popping those pills ! yuck.

dD.Diyana said...

i mean , "i'm okay,for now at least."

seriously man.
living with two burmese,three indians and two chinese is not helping my English.

lol jk.

dD.Diyana said...

see,there goes some grammars.