01 August 2010

A death

My grandma passed away today. I sent a few messages with the same five words to let the people close to me know, that I wouldn't be alright for a few days. I didn't know much about her, except for the fact that she was independent, open minded and that she shaped my mum.

And she thought well of me. And she knew I had a temper. And she knew I liked tea. We took her to the hospital last night, because she said she felt faint. The docs tested her out and gave her a clean bill. We came back, joked a bit about how old the doctor looked, and how I thought she should revert to the days when she loved mutton paya and the lot. Then I left, with no clear idea of when I would see her again.

I know before I went to see her, my mother said she liked drinking apple juice in the evenings and told me to get her apples. When I got a plate of apples, I told the lady that I would give her ten bucks extra if she gave me all the nice apples because I was getting it for my pati (grandma). And the lady gave me the good ones, and then put a couple more in the bag, repeating what I'd said.

Apparently she woke up this morning, but couldn't open her eyes. Non responsive they took her to the hospital again, and tried to resurrect her. She was responsive but could not open her eyes. As her pulse slowed down, she slipped away.

24 hours ago, I was joking with her. She was alive, and well, walking around and could smile. I remember her using her shawl to ensure she kept her modesty in tact yesterday. I remember her asking for her guddi (handkerchief) to wipe away sweat. I remember lifting her legs to fit the steps on the wheelchair we used to cart her into and out of the hospital. I remember now. I can't forget.

For someone who didn't know her grandmother too well, I guess, these will be the only memories I have of her. And they may not be much, but these are all I have. I know where ever she is, she is a happy person. Though I knew that all my life, I never heard her laugh. She just did what she had to do to get through the day, and at best, was content. Love you Amma Ma.

3 comments:

Vimal said...

There is nothing I can say to make anything any better. I am sorry for your loss.

shanthi said...

Hearty condolences

Saro said...

Thank you Vimal and shanthi for your empathies :) I mean it when I say, I'm sure she's in a happier place than here!