20 March 2005

Deconstructing the Love of My Life

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How could an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star.
I wish i wish i didnt wish so hard.
-Tony Braxton

Maybe i 'should' wish my love apart.


I need to ask, do angels exist? I knw that whatever the answer mite be, i could never believe that. To remember, when it was the first time i fell in love- I hate to get into history, it does make me sound sooo old, but i have lived so i do have stories to tell...
I couldn't believe that this was the person, the one person in the world that was made for me.

God, life or the 'whatever' force had shaped him to fit the empty spaces that life's craters had flung into the person i had become. Much like the copulation...lol...process... he was made size to fit. I was his. HE WAS MINE.

And that was never ever goin to change. We may or may not last, he may or may not be an angel, may or may not hurt me but we will always be 'we'... at some level; to take the linear road of time and to put a bracket around the days that we spent together...why should what happens after change anything at all? Were we not in love when we loved eachother that was supposed to magically cease but for the technicality of a 'break up?' Should that end everything?

I miss your face, i miss your kiss.... baby face, lonliness. (These collection of songs do not belong to me)

You miss what u can't get, can't have the one thing that u din see was standing right in front of you. But the thing is that chances are that if it was right there in frnt of u and u din see it, u din need it at that point of time. And u/i mite even be confusing 'cherishing' something for 'missing something.' Like 'caring' for something, to 'loving' something. But for the technicality of words life would be so much simpler. But for the need to express oneself, to constantly question oneself every corner, to 'know what ur doin', to 'know urself.' WHy do we need to knw ne thing at all?
And do i need an answer to that question- i dun think so.

And to analyze the earlier question,

how could an angel break my heart? There might be angels but they don't last forever, u only see what u want to see. Forever is a word relative to the time frame that u want to see an angel.

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How could u fall in love with *her*?
How could u give ur heart to *her*?
Thought we'd grow old as lovers together till the end.
How could you fall...fall in love with *her*?

*Babyface- With Him*

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